Wednesday, October 22, 2008

...And the fish was thiiiis big

So in my life there are things I would like to pursue: perhaps a significant other, success in my art (however I plan to define that), or physical fitness. What I have found interesting is that if I go to each with a spreadsheet an charts mapping time, goals, expectations the lesser the chance of me walking away happy and fullfilled.

I have come to understand that none of them are instantaneous and each require that I live each day not with a specific goal, date, weight in mind but rather be conscious of good living. Instead of having a work-out schedule, I do karate when I am inclined to do so and as I do it more I find myself compelled. I talk to women without the motivation of dating and end up with enjoyable conversations and sincere friendship. I sit down to draw not with desire for adoration by others but just to have fun, to love what I put down on paper or on screen.

I think this is the key to being whole. If you measure your bits and parts in timetable, segmented by seconds and accounting the act, it become something less than life. Culturally happiness is often defined be succeeding in goals, but I am coming to believe less and less that is true. Some of the most magnificent moments in my life involve failing and by that fall discovering something more powerful.

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